Job Hunting Sucks

Was it the movie "Rainman" where Tom Cruise tells Dustin Hoffman that
"K Mart sucks."   That about wraps up how I feel about job hunting. Why can't
employers just feel my awesomeness without having to jump through hoops?

I've been out of work since June 15th, my own doing, as you all know I have recently
moved. Now, seeing dolphins every day does have its advantageous, but those
water-dwelling creatures do not pay the bills. My extended "vacation" is starting to
get on my nerves. You know you have issues when you start to "wipe out" the foot
prints on the carpet because you want everything to still look neat, maintain a facsimile
of control in your environment, or you obsess  over whether or not that particular
picture should really be hanging next to that bookshelf.

Enough! Give me some paper, a desk a phone and irritating people to deal with and
I'm right at home. Let me organize, banter back and forth with colleagues and pretend
I really do like the swill offered as free coffee in the breakroom. When you start            answering your personal cell phone like an infomercial commentator you know
it's time to get a job.  When wine starts to look real good by 2pm you really need to
get out of the house.

I will close with this. I'm a worker. I'm not the Queen Bee or the Princess locked
in the tower (my hair would never grow that long without cosmetic enhancements
that I can't  afford right now anyway.) I work, therefore I am happy.

The saga continues....

Holy AWOL!!

Wow, had no idea it had been over three weeks since I last posted. Moving will do that to you.  Moving will do many things to you. It will make you re-examine every possible use for duct tape, packing tape and bubble wrap. It will make you curse the day you bought anything and stored it in your home because now you have to pack the damn thing and how the hell were you supposed to know that the awesome hurricane lamp you had to have does not fit in any standard box? You will survive off dry cereal, peanut butter and Twix bars because they are there and quite frankly very convenient. You will stare down your spouse and child if they enter any room that has been freshly cleaned and you will monitor every item that goes in every box.

It's freakin' exhausting!

So here I am at the other end of the move and I have to keep reminding myself that I live here now, I'm not just visiting. Even though we now have FL plates on our car and I have four palm trees in my yard it's a little hard to digest. You know you are not a true Floridian when you are freaking out over a tropical storm and your neighbors are still drinking mai tai's. A tiny lizard darted out behind some boxes and I jumped a foot in the air. I haven't worn make-up or done my hair in over a week. It's kind of liberating actually.

Now, which flip flops shall I wear tomorrow?

Fifty Shades of What???

Ok, I will put it out there. I read "Fifty Shades of Grey" in about 2 days. And then I proceeded to finish off the trilogy in much the same fashion. What is it about the naughty nature of erotic books that makes people blush furiously (I am red-faced just typing this admission out!) Once I got through all the sex scenes and tried to figure out what Little Miss Ana wanted from Mr. Grey it really wasn't too difficult to decipher.

I don't think we all want to be chained to a bed (and if you do, have at it!) but I do think we all like the idea of being treated with such love and passion. And who wouldn't want an Audi being thrown their way? Ok, some will get hung up on the idea that he was paying for her services and I can see where that would come from too.  I'm not asking for a litany of responses as to whether or not what Christian did was right or wrong. Miss Steele had no trouble making her fair point well made.

Or, you could just suspend your need to judge and enjoy a quick summer read.

High School Reunion Whine

My high school reunion is this weekend and ...oops, sorry I spilled my wine, where was I?

Oh yes, the high school reunion. This could be a four letter word to some people, but I'm actually sad that I don't get to go and see how everyone turned out. Facebook has taken away all of the surprises you might encounter at a reunion because we can reconnect so easily with people by sitting our butts down in front of the computer. By now you already know who gained weight, who got skinny, who is a gazillionaire, who had 9 kids, what happened to the old science teacher and if your first crush looks as great as he did then as he does now.  In my case, that would be a big yes.

Do I look as good now as I did then? Kind of self-centered thing to ask, really.  Hold on, need to fill up my glass...ok, I'm back.  I have done all kinds of crazy, fun things since high school and I've been through some life-changing experiences...but haven't we all? I think that's the fun of going to a reunion! Who cares what you look like.  Are you happy, did you discover a cure for some horrible disease, do your kids think you are all that, does your husband still love you after all these years, have you been around the world and back and did you really do all those things in high school that I think you did??

So, to all my Westminster High School Alums, Graduating Class of 1990...here's to you! I'm sure you are all wonderful in your own special ways and I wish I could have been there to catch up with you, hear your stories, share your pain and celebrate your good times!

CHEERS!!

Building up Good Karma

I believe that one good turn deserves another. I believe that there is a cosmic

order in this world beyond our comprehension...it's called Karma.

I'm building up a wealth of good karma. I may not have a fancy car, fabulously

expensive shoes or a single cup coffee maker, but I've got "good-vibes karma"

coming out the ying yang.

Good karma allows me to leap tall buildings in a single bound, find the missing

tip to my son's Harry Potter wand and finally get the cat out from under the porch.

I once made dinner in under 3 seconds and yes, crackers and cheese do count.

Kind people bag my groceries for me, movie theatre employees tear my tickets

in half and my rice krispies have an extra snap crackle and pop.

Perhaps I was born this way or perhaps its my cosmic reward for all the good I

try to project out into the world. For example, I don't talk on my cell phone while

driving, I always change the toilet paper roll (paper over) when empty and I put

my grocery cart back in the cart coral.

I feel a rush of good vibes already.

Keep this in mind.....

I think this pretty much sums up how all the wonderful things in life
just come together.  There is a plan for your life people, don't fight it,

follow it.

Laughter REALLY is the Best Medicine....

I am funny…at least I used to think I was. For those of you who would like

to send fan mail referencing my awesome sense of humor, by all means send it in.

There have been a lot of changes going on in my life over the last few weeks and

if I didn’t keep a sense of humor I would be crying at the bottom of a box of wine

(keep it classy St. Louis!)

As you know I am moving…again.  The fifth time in 10 years. I am a master packer,

I throw things away ruthlessly when I don’t want to pack them and I almost have a

photographic memory for what is stored in what box. That is until it’s an absolute
emergency and I need the item in question RIGHT NOW.

Telling my son wasn’t such a fun thing. He reacted in a very normal 10 year old way,

but that doesn’t mean it didn’t break my heart watching the sadness take over his

little face.  How do you joke about moving? In our warped sort of way we did
manage to inject some  humor into this situation which was a great relief.

The day I lose my sense of humor is the day the vineyards dry up…..