Building up Good Karma

I believe that one good turn deserves another. I believe that there is a cosmic

order in this world beyond our comprehension...it's called Karma.

I'm building up a wealth of good karma. I may not have a fancy car, fabulously

expensive shoes or a single cup coffee maker, but I've got "good-vibes karma"

coming out the ying yang.

Good karma allows me to leap tall buildings in a single bound, find the missing

tip to my son's Harry Potter wand and finally get the cat out from under the porch.

I once made dinner in under 3 seconds and yes, crackers and cheese do count.

Kind people bag my groceries for me, movie theatre employees tear my tickets

in half and my rice krispies have an extra snap crackle and pop.

Perhaps I was born this way or perhaps its my cosmic reward for all the good I

try to project out into the world. For example, I don't talk on my cell phone while

driving, I always change the toilet paper roll (paper over) when empty and I put

my grocery cart back in the cart coral.

I feel a rush of good vibes already.

Keep this in mind.....

I think this pretty much sums up how all the wonderful things in life
just come together.  There is a plan for your life people, don't fight it,

follow it.

Laughter REALLY is the Best Medicine....

I am funny…at least I used to think I was. For those of you who would like

to send fan mail referencing my awesome sense of humor, by all means send it in.

There have been a lot of changes going on in my life over the last few weeks and

if I didn’t keep a sense of humor I would be crying at the bottom of a box of wine

(keep it classy St. Louis!)

As you know I am moving…again.  The fifth time in 10 years. I am a master packer,

I throw things away ruthlessly when I don’t want to pack them and I almost have a

photographic memory for what is stored in what box. That is until it’s an absolute
emergency and I need the item in question RIGHT NOW.

Telling my son wasn’t such a fun thing. He reacted in a very normal 10 year old way,

but that doesn’t mean it didn’t break my heart watching the sadness take over his

little face.  How do you joke about moving? In our warped sort of way we did
manage to inject some  humor into this situation which was a great relief.

The day I lose my sense of humor is the day the vineyards dry up…..

Negative Nether-world....

In six weeks I will be moving to Fort Myers, FL to be closer to my husband’s family.

I should be thrilled, excited and brimming with enthusiasm, but I’m not. Now, this

move is a great idea, it’s been  years in the making. We feel like our son should

grow up being surrounded by family and we need to settle down somewhere for

good.

Happiness is alluding me because my son has slipped into some kind of “negative

nether-world” where nothing is going right for him, he thinks he ruins everything,

his teachers expect too much and he is under too much pressure. Did I mention

before that he is 10? My ability to over analyze to the nth degree is prohibiting me

from seeing this for what it is, a phase in his life. Did I mention though that I have

a tendency to be the same way? My expectations for perfection in my own life

often leave me in a negative stupor when my ability does not live up to the

performance I expected.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He was supposed to grow up and take after his

dad who is confident, tenacious and loves a challenge. I feel like I have done him

a grave disservice and I don’t want him to be like me. I don’t have an answer

for this, I just want my son to grow up happy and content.

I better lead by example. (This is just a phase, right?)

I Like You Just The Way You Are

I used to think that only certain adults resisted change, but recent events

have shown me that this is not necessarily true. Kids resist change too. Not

the simple “let’s move the wii console over to this side of the tv” kind of change, or

the drastic “guess what, we’re moving to Africa!” kind of change either. They get

comfortable in their own little worlds and like things just the way they are.

I recently dabbled in the “how would look as a brunette” change of hair color

and boy did my son not like this at all. He said “Mom, you look weird.” And wanted

to know if I could change it back right away. (That’s something only Miss Clairol knows.)

One time I was looking at a fitness magazine and I showed TJ a picture of this

workout model and said, “TJ, how would you like it if I looked like that?” He replied

“I like you just the way you are.” What a smart kid!

I get where he is coming from though. My mom has had a very, very rough few years

battling cancer and knee surgery and her appearance has changed so much. When
I close my eyes I always picture her how she was when I still lived at home and

mom was everything. She is still everything, even though she looks different and I

would tell her “I like you just the way you are.”

The World's Best Mom...Ever

Today...I am all out of Whine

Today I woke up and I felt so completely blessed! I have been trying to start my mornings by reading a selected daily devotional and just trying to be QUIET so that maybe I could hear GOD and learn what direction my life is supposed to go in. I find that the more I struggle against certain things, the more difficult my life is to navigate.  I have learned that I am not the Captain of my ship and once I let go of that concept things started to really fall into place. Don't get me wrong, I fully understand the concept of free will and I know that I make choices everyday. I also know that when I feel an inner calmness and peace about a decision than that is the way my life is supposed to go. I want people to feel joy when they are around me and not a wall of negativity. I think my son is picking up on it too and it's so nice to see him make good decisions.

"Silver Jug" Painting by Jenn Kuhn

Tomorrow I might wake up on the wrong side of the bed, I could spill coffee all over myself and maybe my car won't start. But today....today is a good day.

They can smell fear....

A scary thought crossed my mind the other day. Eventually my son is going

to grow up and realize that I don’t know everything. Right now I’m practically

omnipotent in his little world. I have eyes in the back of my head. I can hear

a pin drop from next door and I know without a shadow of doubt when he is lying.

I can fix the hurts, smooth over pain and he still thinks I’m cool to walk around in

public with. I don’t want this stage to ever end!

Eventually he is going to know that I can barely do 5^th grade math, I can’t solve

every problem he encounters and he may not want to be seen with me in public.

At this stage in the game all he knows is that “Mom’s got it together.”  Or does she???

Our kids can smell fear, they know when something isn’t right so we have to be

vigilant in keeping our shit together. Seriously! They can’t know that you sometimes

lay awake for hours at night wondering how to fix the latest issue in your adult life.

They need security and love more than anything.

Damn I miss being a kid and thinking adults were invincible!